There is a great beauty to the perfect timing of God. There is a sense of chaos in waiting for the movement of God – though He is ever working out all things together for good. There is a facade that God may not be moving with the urgency and care equal to our own assessment of our situation. For me, I tend to dwell in the feeling that God has abandoned me when I face situations that seem all too massive for me to endure alone. This is the picture of my earthly father who chose to abandon his wife and two children. A picture of a father who chose to not provide for his daughters until a court legally forced him. I have a memory of calling my father and asking him to give my mother money because we had no food in our kitchen. A father who sits in jail, still to this day, for the abuse he inflicted upon me as a child. My understanding of what a father is has been significantly skewed which has bled into my understanding of how God will engage with me as my Heavenly Father. And although I know that God is good, kind, faithful, trust-worthy, and holy – it is a real truth that the way we experience our earthly father will project onto how we view God.
Adopting six Ukrainian orphans will cost up to $55,000. We do not have $55,000. We have what we need to provide for the children on the day to day as God has been faithful to provide Daniel with an incredible career and a beautiful home to house everyone; however, we lack the upfront large sum of $55,000. We are dependent upon God to show up big and provide the funds for this rescue mission. God has provided bit by bit along the way so far, through amazing friends and family who have donated to our adoption. We started this journey knowing that God had brought us to this amazing endeavor, and trusting that as He called us to this, He would surely provide. We have seen story after story of God providing in BIG ways and we know He is fully capable of providing every cent and dollar required to rescue these amazing children. When we surrendered our will to God’s in adopting six Ukrainian orphans, we immediately began to pray specifically for Him to provide the moneys that we would need to bring our babies home. I prayed this not only because I knew we needed the money, but also out of a desire to watch God work and move in a big way so that we could show the world that when God calls you to something big and scary He will provide in big and mighty ways.
But God. God is not confined by time, nor is He confined to MY timeline and desires. I can give Him my concerns and express to Him my needs, but I must then respond with trust and hope – and worship while I wait. Expectant for Him to work in our situation, tempering my expectations with a respect that God knows exactly what we need and the best time to meet those needs in the best manner according to His will. So I suppose this post is a bit of a pep talk to myself.
This is where my view of God as absent father comes in. Lack of faith or little faith tells me that God is not going to provide – does He even hear my prayer or care to help us? Strong faith or intentional baby steps of faith chooses to trust, even when my perception tells me to not trust in God. Just as I must daily renew my mind by reading God’s Word and spending time in His presence, I must also daily renew my faith in His working in my life. I must remind myself of His promises … which I must admit I need to study in this season. I’d love feedback from friends if you have any good books or know of good passages in Scripture on the promises of God.
I know *I KNOW* God is going to provide. I know it. Period. My heart and flesh may fail – but God’s Word and character endure. I praise Him that He is always faithful – in every situation in my life. We live in a sinful, and broken world. Bad things happen. Bad things happened to me as a child. Bad things happened to these beautiful children to make them orphans. But God. God is a redeemer of the broken. He has graciously and masterfully redeemed me from my broken past – it is a constant process, but He has been at my side in each step – praise His name. He is redeeming these children from orphans to sons and daughters. We get to have front row seats to His mighty working in their lives.
Would you pray for us? This is a rescue mission of epic proportions. I believe with all my heart that the enemy has marked these children (all orphans) since conception and he is not letting them go without a fight. But God. God is greater and in God we have the victory. So we rest. We trust. We pursue. We hope. We know. We know that He is working all things together for good. We know He will provide all of our needs, as He always has. He is good. He is for us and not against us. We praise His mighty and wonderful name. Amen.