My head is spinning.
We are weeks – mere weeks from flying to Ukraine for our final trip to *God willing* bring our boys home. This mama is seriously nesting. I have brought home 6 babies from the hospital – spent months, weeks, days anticipating each homecoming. Obsessed over cleaning our home, purchased every item imaginable that they might need within our budget, washed precious new itty bitty baby clothes, and prayed moment by moment for a healthy birth. That season of bringing home our biological blessings has passed, and yet I am learning that this nesting process is no different with children born from our hearts.
I have been ordering clothes online for the boys as I find really good sales. The cost of adoption is a mountain all its own, and then you realize all of the other essential expenses. These boys will likely come to us with the orphanage communal clothes they will have on their backs. This means that we must buy every single item that they might need from scratch. Shirts, pants, underwear and socks. Shoes, winter coats, gloves and scarves – did I mention we will be there in crazy cold winter weather?!! Hair brushes, tooth brushes, bedding and pillows. We were super blessed by my husband’s former boss who gave us their old bunk bed for the boys, which is SUCH a blessing and a beautiful piece of furniture. You would cry if I told you what one of our boys currently sleeps on, it is seared into my memory.
So we have purchased most of the necessities for the boys, except shoes, toiletries and undergarments. They all sit in two overflowing boxes in the corner of my room, still in their bags with their tags, in case the clothes do not fit. Our amazing 13-year-old fits about a size 12, and our 9 year old fits about a size 4/5 … no typo, he fits a size 4/5. My eyes literally tear up just to type that. We must get these boys home. Love and family may not heal all their hurts, but it will definitely create an environment for the Holy Spirit and some good therapy to help these boys find some healing and peace.
So we are weeks away from another awful goodbye to our sweet family … and oh my word, how do I do that again? The last time we flew to Ukraine, my 7-year-old held on to me and refused to let go. My husband literally had to rip her off of me and told me to just go out to the car. I wept as though my body was being torn in two. With my husband’s job, he used to be away a lot for extended amounts of time. Our kiddos don’t enjoy that, but they are used to the drill of seeing Daddy off and knowing he will eventually be back home with us. This, however, was the first time in our lives where Mommy would be leaving for longer than a hospital stay to have another child. So we will put on our brave faces and get through it – but oy, it is going to be challenging. Of course, these boys are worth it.
For all the stress of preparation and stress of fundraising and saving to complete the adoption, we are just so grateful to God for getting us to this point. It has been one year and four months since we began this journey of following after God’s heart for orphans. He has been so faithful in so many ways – even when it seemed like He had abandoned us – He has been masterfully crafting this amazing journey. His hand and heart have guided us through each turn and trial of this path. Now as we count down mere weeks to seeing our boys again, we rejoice in the goodness of our King.
We thank you all for your prayers, sweet encouragement and generous donations. We have never experienced a more challenging journey as a family … but we are so grateful that God has allowed this to be a part of our story.
We still beg for your prayers as the story is not complete yet and more challenges could still be around the corner. In fact, I haven’t written on our blog for so long because of the challenges we learned of after arriving home. We are now facing the possibility of not being able to bring home one of our boys. We beg your prayers for God’s will to be done – we trust that He is working on our behalf and on behalf of these precious boys. We are not angry, we are full of hope that God will fight these battles for us. While we wait, He is comforting us mightily through His Word.
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.